Happy Holidays

Do you remember when you were a kid and life seemed to be so much easier? Not to mention straight up magical during the Christmas season? I consider myself to be so greatly blessed that I can. Life catches up though and responsibilities begin to pile on so high you feel like you are going to collapse under the weight. I gather this is why #adulting exists. Which fyi I think is a ridiculous hashtag.  

Lately, though I haven't been feeling the joy of the holiday season. Do you ever feel like you standing in the middle of a high way and incoming traffic is heading towards you at breakneck speed but your feet are planted in the ground? Well, you don't see that embroidered on a Christmas pillow but that is how I feel.  I keep getting completely caught up in the next shift at work, caring for Audrey, throwing a meal on the table, dishes, laundry etc... It's a vicious never ending cycle everyday life is. You know what though? It is a privilege to live it. To be able to do the things I complain about.

 Sure I sometimes forget to brush my teeth in the morning (insert all the facepalms😐) my hair is more often than not a mess, and I almost never respond to text messages right away. I am in a constant state of feeling behind and like a total failure. My gosh though, there a people who don't know where their next meal is coming from, how on earth do I have the audacity to complain? 

 There are so many things to be thankful for I can't even count them! Choosing to focus continually on the negative is by far my greatest struggle in life. I don't want to be that way. And yet I am. It will forever astound me how those who have nothing to give are the ones who give most and are frequently more cheerful. I won't and I can no longer let the small or even sometimes great hardships in life steal my joy. I will wake up and make the choice to let the little things go. To read an extra book to Audrey instead of getting all of the dishes done. To give more to others, and realize that at the end of the day everything will be ok. While I wish a life and mentality change like this can happen overnight I know it can't. It will be a steady uphill climb possibly for the rest of my life to choose joy. I have hope that I will get there though. My whole life I have struggled with anxiety, depression and oddly enough into adulthood I have developed nearly crippling OCD. Help from God, prayer, meditation, EOs, and being married to the most eternally optimistic person on planet earth all will help and encourage this journey- I have no doubts.  

Indeed, these will be happy holidays

Olivia 

Audrey Elizabeth Burton Schilling
her famous frog face 😂